It is estimated that approximately 500,000 women were raped in South Africa last year.
A Medical Research Council survey found that 28% of South African men disclosed having ever raped a woman- the vast majority began by the age of twenty.
Nearly half of South African men reported having ever perpetrated domestic violence.
1 in 4 sexually active girls in South Africa (15-19 years) have a much older sexual partner.
Nearly 1 in 3 males had multiple partners in the past 12 months.
Nearly 1 in 5 men report drinking heavily (5 or more drinks) almost every week.
This was the laundry list of facts that I was presented with a week before beginning the Training of Coaches for Generation Skillz, Grassroot Soccer's newest curriculum, in Cape Town. Having heard what feels like one billion statistics in my lifetime I was initially surprisingly shocked by what I was told, but quickly forgot them like all of the rest... Until last week. The six facts listed above came to life inside the walls of the Football for Hope Centre in Khayelitsha between September 6th and September 9th. Everything I had learned about the four key drivers of the HIV/AIDS epidemic (1. alcohol abuse 2. multiple concurrent partners 3. intergenerational/transactional sex 4.gender-based violence) became real. My college classes dedicated to sociology and HIV/AIDS and gender inequality and the science of learning all gained a whole new context. The way that I view the life I have led as a woman in the United States completely changed. The way I view United States societal norms completely changed...
Generation Skillz is Grassroot Soccer's newest curriculum. An idea born because of facts like the ones listed above, Gen Skillz has been in development since November of 2009. Informed by the findings of an extensive literature review and finically made possible by partnerships with USAID, Comic Relief, MAC AIDS, and the Elton John AIDS Foundation, Generation Skillz was finally ready to launch in September of 2010. It is a curriculum that differs from other GRS programs (like Skillz 1.1) in that it targets an older age group (15-19 years olds instead of 11-14 years olds) and dives deeper on the key drivers of the epidemic whereas past programs have focused on HIV facts and general life skills. Gender inequality, an ever present problem in South Africa, was an issue that hadn't truly been addressed by GRS until now.
While the United States has a long way to go in reaching true gender equality (come on people..only 17% of Congress is female?!?! ) at times it seems like they are light years ahead of South Africa. The Training of Coaches week, dedicated to teaching the curriculum to our coaches who were already trained in the Skillz 1.1 curriculum, made that point extremely clear. The training team (I was merely a participate and definitely was not in charge of training since I had little to no knowledge of previous programs) had selected 14 of our best coaches to participate in this ground-breaking training. Given that our previous curriculums have been aimed at eliminating stigma for those living with HIV/AIDS and creating a safe space for people to talk about HIV/AIDS, most of us expected this training to be like any other. We would train the coaches in the new curriculum and they would subsequently be almost 100% ready to deliver the message to kids....
Contrary to what was expected, we quickly realized that the coaches and the training team were on very different pages on a number of key issues-- specifically the ones that Generation Skillz is trying to address-- gender-based violence, multiple concurrent partners, and intergenerational sex...
Some quotes from our handpicked, cream of the crop coaches from the training:
Question posed by the training team: "Why do men hit women?"
Answer provided by a coach in training: "Because women are stupid, they think they know what men are thinking but they don't."
Question posed by the training team: "Should girls always please their boyfriends and vice versa?"
Answer provided by a coach in training: "Men should never always please their girlfriends, but girlfriends should always please their boyfriends. I knew a man that always pleased his wife and he found out one day that she was cheating on him. Therefore, men should never always please their girlfriends, and girls should always please their boyfriends."
I quickly began to understand how much your upbringing can influence how you think. These coaches have led a completely different life in a completely different culture. What they see at night, the conversations that their friends have, the opinions that their parents pass on to them, the lessons that they learn in the classroom are all totally different than what I have experienced. For that reason, it is not surprising that the way they view the world is not the same as how we view the world and for that same reason, it would be entirely unfair to judge them based on the opinions that they hold/held. So that this post isn't interpreted incorrectly, its necessary to say that these coaches are really great people. While their views were surprising to me at first, given the culture that they have been raised in, their opinions make perfect sense.
As discouraging and frustrating as some of the comments were, the change in attitude towards our big 4 issues over the course of just 4 days, was absolutely incredible to watch. While a few coaches were still giggling about gender-based violence towards the end, the girls started to speak up and the boys started to call out their co-coaches when laughter was inappropriate. Coaches began having lightbulb moments in front of our eyes and we got to witness the beginnings of behavior change. When we piled into the car on the last day I was confident in the belief that our coaches are going to mobilize and spread the knowledge we imparted on them. While at the beginning of the week I found myself questioning our coaches, thinking to myself, "Good god, if this is the best of the bunch, is it really possible to help at all?" by the end of the week my opinion had completely changed.
Being a part of this training was inspirational and concreted in my mind that Grassroot Soccer is doing incredible work. If we can get 14 coaches to believe that men should not beat their wives, relationships can consist of more than just sex and gifts, a gender-balanced society is possible, etc. in just 4 days, the possibilities are endless for the youth that we aim to educate.
A special thank you to the training team and to our coaches at the Football for Hope Centre for opening my eyes to an entirely different way of life and for inspiring me to continue my work with Grassroot Soccer. As much as we may have provided knowledge to our coaches, the knowledge they provided us throughout the week was above and beyond anything I could have imagined. Thank you.
Photos courtesy of skilled photographer Jamison Merrill
